The Last Wave..(Farewell, CFSIIUM)

I never thought I had to go through another farewell again..another moment of despair, another minute of telling the bitterful truth that you're leaving, and another second of facing the reality that everything is going to change,again...if i had known this, i would never make an effort to be good to anyone, to be a part of a mutual relationship, or just to be noticed by anyone..but again, this is all God's work..and there's always a mystery gift behind every event and situation..

I never look at all this as a test of faith, a test of patience and a test of will..i simply take it as another door of opportunity for me to have a better future in what i'm about in enrol in. Just like the first time when i was offered to study in MRSM, that time i was getting really close with my classmates in SMKBJ and trust me, it was a tough decision i had to make..to have to be apart with some of your closest friends ever(which ironically now are not)...but...look at what that choice has turned and got me into..=DD i had to say it was the right choice..and now, i'm about to risk my life once more, to take another doubtful,uncertain step that could either be a quicksand that would suck you and suffocate you till you can't hold it no more or you could be stepping on a fragile glass that would break into pieces and you'll fall down to the valley of doom!(omaigod i'm crapping) or you could just be lucky again this time and make it to another step..

-Ok2! cut the crap! what is this all about actually??..

One fine night after Maghrib prayers..

[Sony Ericsson message tune]

Ayah : ada tawaran MARA buat program 1 tahun medical UNIKL-Royal Medical College Perak di Kuala Nerang.berminat?

this is where it all started..

I think i don't have to elaborate on the conversation that i had with my dad on the phone..but he gave me, actually MARA gave me so little time to think that i burst into tears, thinking that this could be the hardest decision that i have to make in my entire life..well if i had to choose between two extremely cute guys who's going head over heels for me, then that would be the hardest choice ever, but this time no guys were involved.

Do you wanna know why this was so hard for me?

1. I was beginning to love UIA..the lecturers, the environment(islamic), my friends, and of course the fact that Midvalley was just 10 minutes away!
2. I thought i had a good platfrom there..doing foundation in medicine for 2 years, i was beginning to accept the reality that i may be starting my degree much later than my friends.
3. the offer that MARA made was very much tempting-1 year foundation and you are confirmed to have a spot to do medicine for degree..unlike UIA where i have to fight for that spot, i don't have to if i accept the offer.
4. I know my parents wanted me to take this offer so badly because it was a 1-year programme, compared to UIA's 2-years programme.
5. if accept the offer, this means i will be going back to my high school years because Kolej Mara Kuala Nerang is just like any other MRSM-the rules, the routine..if i choose to stay in UIA,i'll be living the university, like i've always dreamt of.   

My roomates saw the tears but they couldn't help in any ways. It was totally on me. Then, i decided to call Syahir, one of my most trusted friend to seek for advice. He said take the offer.Make your parents happy. I was still unsure so i called Azmah and Aliah..Surprisingly, azmah got the same offer and said her decision would be based on mine. If i accept, she would do the same.. hah!! now i have to make the choice for 2 souls!great! Aliah advised me to take the offer because to her, this was that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity..
I can't do this........................................................

I took my ablution and perform the istikharah prayer.........

I've never done it before...so i know God was the right place to seek true advice..Some of u would say that it's too late to perform istikharah when u have to make the decision by the day but i'll take my chances. God is great..

Subhanallah, that morning my heart was telling me something. I had that intuition, telling me to take the offer.

_________________________________________________________________________________

And here i am, in Kuala Nerang, following what my heart told me to do..Welll......i can't tell you exactly that i am as happy as Peterpan in Neverland for making this decision, because that would be a total lie..but i'm catching up with things. And to prove how great the Mighty Allah is, he replaced my dear friends from UIA with new friends who are as good as them here in Kuala Nerang.and i am really grateful for that because the only thing that's keeping my smile here is my friends.My prayer has been answered, alhamdulillah..

p/s-UIA, you'll always be in my heart...