So this time i would like to open up a bit, juuusst a teeny weeny bit of myself. I think i have tonnes, uncountable flaws but this one, oh yeah, this one is the most visible one; SAYING I'M SORRY.
If you ask any of my friends, when do i ever apologize to anyone, they'll take a minute, or an hour to answer that. because i RARELY say sorry. I don't know, maybe it's because of my girlish ego or something, or just my mouth is that much lazy to spell out the word S-O-R-R-Y. well, the lazy theory can be cut out since I can easily say the longest word in the world; SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS, so what is 'sorry' to be compared to that? haha
Then i realised something. Most of the times, i didn't have the guts to say sorry because to me, apologizing would make the situation between me and that person more awkward than it already is. BUT! but it actually depends on the situation i'm in.
if I'm in a tensed situation where me and my sister are constantly shouting at each other over a burnt toast(which is my fault), then i would apologize by shouting, "Okay fine, I'm sorry! You happy?" Then it wouldn't be an awkward situation because usually after apologizing my sister would reply, "Okay, fine then. You eat it(the burnt toast)"..so there, ego doesn't actually play a part.BUTTTTTT.......scroll down
If I quarreled with my friend and we haven't been talking for more than a week, and if this were a movie, usually one of us would eventually surrender and apologize to the other person, even though it wasn't her fault in the first place. But to break the ice, one would sacrifice her ego. But this only happens in movies, well maybe in the real world too but somehow if it happens to me, I would never be the one apologizing. Hard to believe?i know, but it's the damn truth! Because i know, it will turn out to be awkward. Well, just imagine, we haven't been talking for quite a long time and then suddenly, all of a sudden one of us came up to the other person, and said "I'm sorry"..Then what???do you expect things to go as they were a week ago after a simple "I'm sorry'?? Hell no! Of course there would be this irritating 10-second-awkward-silence between us that I've always hated.So, to avoid this awkwardness, I'd rather be the Rapunzel, waiting for the charming ogre(ok,wait, that's Fiona)....for the charming prince to come and approach me..even if it causes my hair to grow as long as Yao Ming's legs..I know i sound really selfish and arrogant, but this is me..I'm simply not the type who could convey my regret just easily.
However, I have my own ways of apologizing without actually saying sorry. Luckily, my close friends are very understanding so they know how i deal with things. If i know i am at fault for something, yes it would take time for me to approach the victim(???) but i will eventually express my regrets..just, not by saying I'm sorry. Usually, i would come up to that person and break the ice by asking him/her how he/she is doing..or maybe talk about the latest updates about stuff ; newest movies, crushes, politics(????ok don't), stuff like that..Sooner or later, we would be smiling again at each other and voila! problem solved..and plus, no awkwardness whatsoever.
So there, you already know something about me. I never say sorry directly. Hopefully after this, if i accidentally hurt your feelings(i never do things on purpose..haha), don't expect me to come up to you and say "I'm sorry" but expect a chocolate bar in front of your door with a sticky note and smiley written on it. =)
That's my language of apologizing. what's yours???